How are you?

Cómo estás? Comment allez-vous? Ce mai faci? Whether it’s Spanish, Italian, Romanian, or English, “How are you?” is the most frequently asked question in just about everywhere throughout the world. 9 times out of 10 you would get the same response, “Good, how are you? Or…. Bien gracias, y tu? And so on….. it’s almost automatic. We don’t even have to think about it but like robots programmed it just comes out. In therapy the other day we were talking about being able to accurately describe our feelings. Feeling alienated or affiliated, amused or annoyed, we must learn how to acknowledge the good and the bad. Too many times we try to hide the bad, we throw a mask on and pretend everything is ok. 

All you can control in life, is how you respond to life.

Everyone deals with depression, we just cope with it differently. I like to look at it this way, it’s either fuel to the fire or fuel in the tank. You can make the situation worse by letting it cripple you or you can use it as motivation to move on get better. I am blessed with people around me that won’t let me add fuel to the fire. They are on me daily about what I am doing to better myself. The keep pushing me out of my comfort zone so I don’t become complacent. Always striving to get better and to never settle.  

What was the first thing that came to your mind this morning? Was it an optimistic thought or a pessimistic thought? Was it motivational or was it crippling? Everyone says surround yourself with people that will make you better…. I am here to tell you that it starts with YOU. How do you expect others to bring you up when all you’re doing is pulling yourself down?!?!?! Be the person you want others to be for you. Change your attitude, change your outlook, change your habits. Once they see that you care, they can be fuel to the fire trying to burn you down or fuel to the tank moving you forward. Thats when you can really see who is really there for you and who you can leave behind. This might sound harsh but if they aren’t fueling you forward they are burning you down. There’s a difference between a friend and an acquaintance, know the difference. Treat everyone with dignity and respect and it will be easy to spot. Just remember the change starts with you!

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Next time someone asks, how are you, think before you respond. If you’re having a rough day don’t be embarrassed to reach out for help. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak, it makes you strong because you weren’t afraid. Put aside your pride for a second and be honest with yourself, when you change your point of view you might find that something you needed was right in front of you all along. No matter how you are doing now, you can always be doing better!

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