I was a little hesitant to open up about this one but here it goes. We must commit to set physical boundaries long before we get into a relationship. When we know where we stand and what God has called us to do, we are less likely to give into temptation when it comes.
It is easy to decide to stay pure, following through is the hard pard. Ambiguity is one of the leading causes of moral failure, meaning we are uncertain about what we really want. Our mind is saying “Don’t do it, its not right” while our body is saying “It feels so good, its not really that bad.” Just like in the garden of eden, the serpent asked Eve and Adam “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?” They, just like us, second guessed what we know was morally right. We don’t make the right decision because we haven’t made up our mind about what the right decision is! A lot of us don’t take the time to process how we feel or what God has told us is within His will for us physically. It’s no wonder that when we’re in tempting situations, we cave.
Ambiguity is a problem in our every day lives. We know fast food is bad for our bodies, yet we still love our quarter pounder with cheese from Mickey D’s. We weigh our options and justify a burger at lunch by eating a salad for dinner to balance it out. Deep down we know its not what is right but we find a way to justify our actions. Our body and mind are constantly at war with one another. We know better so we must do better. We’ve all heard the quote ’actions speak louder than words’ and the Bible says in Proverbs 23 ‘For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.’ That means we know in our heart the whole time what is right and wrong. We must listen to Jesus in our hearts telling us his will for our lives. Take a second to think about the consequences of your actions and I am sure you will make the right decision.
“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works.” -Titus 2:11-14
Because we don’t stop, we find faults others. We blame the other person for ‘pushing our boundaries’ or ‘doing more than we would have wanted’ sexually. We compare our lives to others and say “well at least I’m not as bad as so and so” or “it wasn’t that big of a deal, one burger won’t hurt.” Instead of making excuses, it’s time to own your decisions. We must decide how God wants us to live and be bold! Share your thoughts with your partner early on and build accountability within your relationship. Or surround yourself with trusted friends that will hold you accountable and not sugar coat your situation. Don’t wait until you’ve gone too far and feel guilty to determine your boundaries. Don’t be that person that never owns up to their mistakes and can never be wrong. Take initiative to protect both your purity, your health, and your body in general. Your relationship with Jesus and your ability to hear His voice will grow stronger when you realize that it all starts with you.
Spend some time listing out 5-10 physical boundaries that you need to have. These need to be as honest and specific as possible. For example, if you’re having trouble sexual temptations, maybe you shouldn’t hang out in the bedroom or alone. If you keep going to Carl’s Jr. on the way home from work, maybe choose a different route to drive. Given the right time and place, bad things happen. We can’t expect to walk into Krispy Kreme Donuts and come out with a Subway sandwich. We know what our weaknesses are, we must think before we act and not put ourselves in compromising situations. You wouldn’t leave a child at a playground and expect for them to read a book. That kid is going to want to get up and play. Don’t put yourself in a compromising position.
Pray that Jesus would give you a heart for self control and that you would truly desire to live your life His way and enjoy obeying Him. Tell someone about your physical boundaries. This forces you to be honest with yourself, and holds you to a higher level of accountability.